An analogy

I'm a bit lacking in multiple areas this morning including: comprehension, sleep, motivation, sleep, focus, sleep... The result? Why an analogy of course! Brace yourself.

Hmmm..I suppose I should give you a bit of prelude before I launch into the analogy. I'll spare you the details and just say that I had multiple bits of agenda and meetings to attend to this weekend, so I was not nearly as productive in the homework area as I should have been. In fact, I simply took a few entirely random guesses on a biochemistry quiz at about 12:30 this morning because it was far less painful than trying to make my brain function and find the answer. I called it a night at approximately 1:32 a.m. and sprung into action again at 5:36 a.m. for volleyball conditioning. Therefore, I blame the following on exhaustion.

My analogy. Let's begin with biochemistry. Hmmm... a brief scan of the pages of notes I should have been taking for the past month tell me that I should have a plethora of knowledge involving the minutest details of amino acids and proteins and enzymes shoved into my brain, including of course, memorization of all 20 amino acid structures and their codes names and polarities and pKa's and 7 different purification methods and energy diagrams, and binding modes...and...well, about all I know is that I should have that stuff in my head. But hey, I thought it was no big deal that I was falling farther and farther and farther behind because the test wasn't supposed to be until after break. But, guess what....yep, we're ahead of schedule, which lucky for me (note the sarcasm) means the test is next week. I was informed of this incredible news upon entering the classroom.

For the following 50 min, I was supposed to be learning about enzyme nomenclature, another area of memorization that seems too impossible to fathom right now. But, instead I stared blankly ahead, not even bothering to turn the pages of my notes to keep up. You see, I was sitting there imagining a floor length closet, with one of those tall doors that has a magnetic sticky thing in the corner and an old fashioned handle, so that you have to yank on the door to get it open and when if finally springs, the door is all wobbly (some doors stick worse than others). You know the kind (well at least I hope so, because frankly, I realize that that was a terrible description, and I have not the slightest idea of how to improve it...if you are lost, just use your imagination). So anyway, during biochem, I'm sitting there imagining myself trying to open this closet door to cram this explosion of new, impossible information in for storage. But, I can't even get the door open. The closet is already so full of chemistry bologna that there are pieces stuck in the door, causing it to jam and the sticking to be even worse. I yank and yank to no avail and all the while, enzyme names and functions are simply smacking the door with barely audible thuds and shattering on the ground. I'm stomping on them in my frantic attempt at opening the door, listening to there pleading cries for memorization, but none of them are saved and they sure as heck don't make it into the closet.

And then a 10 minute break before organic chemistry. I get up and walk around, gathering my strength to open that stupid door. I return and low and behold, one final yank and the door flies open! But, it was tragic you see as, WHOOSH...chemistry bogus flew everywhere! Compare it to word vomit, you can't stop it and it's just messy and senseless...yeah, this was chemistry vomit. A bunch of random facts and structures and names and properties just crumpled in disarray on the floor. As if that weren't problem enough, the sprung free door exploded open with such force that I allowed it to deck me in the face and nearly knock me senseless. In such a state, I stared at the disorganized disaster of my exploded closet and made a very weak attempt to find the pieces of information Dr. Wu was talking about (we were reviewing, so the stuff had probably been in the closet vomit somewhere). About midway through class, I dropped my pencil and simply stared. Sadly, I now have to pick up that disaster and organize it before Wednesday at 10:00 a.m., when in reality I have only this really strong urge to simply pack it all up and ship it to good will. It could make for an interesting exam...

If you are confused, please do not ask questions as I am buried in a pile of chemistry rubbish. If you are seeking to help me in my predicament, send sleep donations my way. If you are wise, you will say a prayer or two for me as I also need to write a story for my Advanced Fiction and Nonfiction class....and well, you've just read my analogy. The story might be rather frightening and ridiculous.

The end.